Monday, January 16, 2012

Mugshot Mondays

I've been thinking a lot lately about how much I used to love New Orleans. I might still love it, but I can't decide for sure since I've not visited it post Hurricane Katrina.

Anyway, that got me to internetting, and internetting leads to finding disturbing stuff, because, hey! It's the internet!

So this week's Mugshot Monday comes to us all the way from New Orleans, LA, ladies and dorks!

Delphine LaLaurie was a bitch by all accounts. Sure she used to through pretty awesome parties and invite a lot of hoyty toyty types to her fancy mansion, but she just wasn't that nice.

Some background. It's the 1830's, so slavery is all the rage. Or at least legal anyway. We're in a mansion in the French Quarter. Ooh la la.

In 1933 neighbors reported that they'd seen a 12 year old female slave running from LaLaurie in the house. The girl eventually fell off the balcony trying to escape her owner's attack. It's said she's buried under a tree in the backyard.

Jump forward to April 10, 1934. Delphine LaLaurie (how much do I LOVE this lady's name? This much.) was throwing another one of her parties, like ya do, when a fire broke out in the kitchen. Police and firefighters showed up to douse the flames, and were shocked to find two slaves chained to the stove. The slaves had started the fire themselves to attract help. The kitchen slaves told the police to look in the attic.

While cops were presumably vomiting into their hats, LaLaurie made a quick getaway. The attic wound up being full of dead and dying slaves, all of which were victims of LaLaurie's bizarro experiments. Some slaves had their limbs broken and reshaped so they'd look like crabs. Some had had their mouths sewn shut. Others appeared to be midway through haphazard sex changes. In other words LaLaurie was basically the big forehead guy from The Human Centipede (DON'T WATCH THAT!)

LaLaurie was never caught, so she doesn't actually have a mugshot, but here's a portrait. It's the same thing really, just more old-timey.

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