Thursday, November 3, 2011

Hers Day Thursday

You are a failure. Look at your lipstick.
Hey, you! Yeah, you! That lady over there! Do you ever feel like a failure? Do you ever think that nothing ever seems to work out for you? Do you just wish people would give you the credit you deserve? Do you know deep down that you're good enough, but still feel like it'll never matter because no one takes you seriously? Do you ever worry that you'll never get any further in your life than you are right now, and you just can't stand that because where you are right now is NOWHERE??? DO YOU???????

It's because you're not wearing enough makeup, you stupid woman!

In fact, there's an entire article in the New York Times about it this week.

In summary, the article describes a study conducted at Harvard University, paid for by Proctor & Gamble, in which over a hundred people (mostly women) looked at photos of women with varying amounts of makeup. Some folks looked at the photos briefly to make snap judgements, and others looked at them for a while, so they could ponder Girl X with no makeup vs. Girl X with whore face.

Super successful ancient whore face
Not shockingly at all, snap judgers and ponders all agreed that woman needs whore face. Without her whore face, she looks stupid, shifty, incompetent, barely fit to wander through our kitchens barefoot and pregnant. With whore face, she is a lovely whore. And we like those.

Heck, even the ancient Greeks liked those. And they invented homosexuality Democracy!

But the study did state to not overdo it! Whore face is good and proves that you are obviously better suited for a job than the barefaced woman with more experience. However, Tranny Whore Face is TOO FAR! If you are the prettiest tranny whore face in the room, people will stop trusting you. Adjust your whore face according to the persona you'd like to project.

A natural, yet still completely covered in makeup, whore face look can make you seem balanced and collaborative. A deep red whore face lip color says, "I'm in charge here! I have my whore face on, and you don't scare me!"

Of course, everyone knows this look is the most effective at saying, "don't eff with me."

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